I'm covering the Royal Wedding for CBS News and will undoubtedly have more photos of this crazy occasion. TWO BILLION people are expected to tune into this madness (only 134 people watched mine).

Royal Decree for pie 'n' mash! That's what I'm talking about!

Dag, they got five union jacks hanging outside their flat.

Boring! Beach Blanket Babylon in Notting Hill.

Seriously, who'd rock this bag?

Cafe Diana sells kebabs.

I like biscuits; Tesco too!

Whateves! Sloane Square's Jack Wills has some exclusive mug.

Fugly Will & Kate mugs in East London.

The British capital is buzzing with Royal Wedding paraphernalia and not all is flattering memorabilia. Here are some pics I snapped that put the nuptials in a different light.

A fashionable clothing store on Brick Lane & Bethnal Green Road in East London are selling these mugs in the shop window. 

Will & Kate (MOSS?) The super skinny British model is replacing Middleton on these coloured paper plates sold at Maiden in Shoreditch.

Well she does, doesn't she?

The stores are going Royal Wedding mad all over London. I passed by Maiden in Shoreditch and snapped some regal pics.

Maiden in Shoreditch.

Royal Rumble tea towel, anyone?

Dress the royals.

OMG. I watched Lifetime's William & Kate: The Movie. It was so bad it was AMAZING.

Every teenage bedroom needs a lifesize Will & Kate poster!

Or a punk rock Will & Kate poster à la Sid & Nancy.

Cheesy bedtime reading...

William & Cake or too good to eat?

Sexy! Check those pins out!

Extra, Extra! Royal All About It!

I LOVE CANDY!!!

My latest order from http://www.yummysweetshop.co.uk/

Every time I sit in the dentist chair and they start drilling one of many cavities/root canals, I begin to dream of all those sweets I shouldn't have eaten. I swear to myself with my mouth painfully open wide that I WILL NEVER TOUCH THOSE DARN SUGARY TREATS AGAIN.

But then I find out about websites like http://www.yummysweetshop.co.uk that sell American candy and ship it free within 2 days to anywhere in mainland UK.

So of course for research purposes, I ordered a modest amount of US nostalgia over the weekend, including a blue box of Kraft Macaroni & Cheese, one packet of Combos Cheddar Cheese Pretzels, two watermelon-flavoured Airheads & two Astronaut Ice Cream Sandwiches.  Ahh yeah, the snackedy-snacks arrived today!!!

Astronaut food rocks! Being an astronaut rocks! I'm not an astronaut but that doesn't stop me from eating like them. I imagine they orbit around space gravity-free for months and snack on freeze-dried ice cream all day long... Yup they got it good!

Best site. Ever.

Just got a press release from Apple that the iPhone 4 in WHITE is now available from tomorrow onwards.

Why?

'Cause Apple made me wait too damn long for it so I bought a black one instead. Plus the iPhone 5 is coming out soon. I can hold out till September and so should you!

You can even view my rant here on TelecomTV almost a year ago about how mad Apple made me when they snubbed white iPhone lovers everywhere by postponing the release date - not once, not twice but THREE times!

WACKNESS!

Here's what Apple's spokesperson, Philip Schiller had to say:

“The white iPhone 4 has finally arrived and it’s beautiful. We appreciate everyone who has waited patiently while we’ve worked to get every detail right.”

Yeah Right!

If you really want one and you happen to live in one of these places,* the White iPhone 4 is available from tomorrow. But I really think you should wait.

*Austria, Australia, Belgium, Canada, China, Czech Republic, Denmark, Finland, France, Germany, Hong Kong, Ireland, Italy, Japan, Luxembourg, Macau, Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Singapore, South Korea, Spain, Switzerland, Sweden, Taiwan, Thailand, UK and the US.

Who doesn't love cheese in a can?

I asked my little cousin to bring me some Cheese Whiz  (in a can, obviously) from California for a Wayne's World themed movie night. Totally, excellent!

After searching for the iconic canned cholesterol in three stores- he settled instead on cheesy processed dip in a jar. Boo! Cheese is no fun if you have to scoop it out with a spoon.

Little cuz brought back FOUR freakin' jars of heart attack. There should be a law about how much Cheese Whiz an individual can buy at any one time.

My Mediterranean genes would explode if I attempted to eat more than one jar per lifetime, so I turn to you - ex-Pats, American lovers, cheese connoisseurs (NOT) & any dip fans out there.

I am giving away THREE jars of Cheese Whiz to anyone who wants them. Obviously, I'm keeping one for dipping cauliflowers, broccoli - OK who am I kidding - it's for cheese fries from my local kebab spot.

Ideally, you live in London but I can also ship it anywhere in mainland UK. Get in touch.

The "cheese" I got

The brand new HTC Sensation features a 1.2Ghz dual core processor, runs Android 2.3 (Gingerbread) and HTC's Sense 3.0. The camera is 8-megapixels and records in 1080p high definition video at 30 frames per second. There's also a front-facing 1.3MP camera.